Sunday, June 30, 2013

Things I Don't Understand... Part 1

Since I have alluded to it a few times here lately, I think I will elaborate on the things I don't understand. You'll thank me later.

So here we go. I don't understand...

1. How these damn cats can meow so much and not have sore throats.

2. How people who have noisy, barking, yipping, obnoxious dogs are not aware of the level of noise these animals make. Courtney, here's a shout-out to you & Julio. I have to give it to you for tolerating it, I would've called the police or animal control a LONG time ago.

3. How people who have to be on Oxygen for breathing difficulties continue to smoke. Isn't this sort of distracting from the purpose of being on the Oxygen? Where do you think the C.O.P.D. came from to begin with, genius?

4. Misogynistic "gangsta rap" and the folks who listen to it, thinking it is okay to behave like the "artist" who is propagating it.

5. Some folks' moral compass, or lack there of. Right is right, wrong is wrong, and it is wrong to try and make other folks change their opinion because you think you're right and they're wrong. Maybe its the other way around... maybe they're right and YOU'RE wrong. However (comma) if you're one of those folks who try and influence folks to think how you do regardless, you're not likely to care who is really right and really wrong so long as everybody is made to think that you're right. Wait, what?

6. People who are two-faced and / or those who lie all the time. And this includes lying by omission. How can you tell one person one thing and either tell somebody else something completely different or "forget" to mention it to that person? Do you forget who you told what to?
I'll be the first to admit it-I'm a baaaaad liar. That's why you always get the truth from me, sometimes regardless of if you asked for it.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Narcissism & Sociopathy

Okay, so this is going to start with my copying and pasting the link I found from the "Profile of the Sociopath". It just seems so suited to... someone...
Particularly; "They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely and instrument to be used. They dominate and humiliate their victims. Instead of friends they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way."

Earlier, a few of you were following along my loose rants about Madame Moo Cow and buying Lizzie's plane tickets to come down to Alabama. I have copied the emails here so you have the full story. The more reasonable I am, and the more I rationalize things for/with her, the less she talks and the ruder she gets. I know she's mad and going to be a royal bitch to everybody that crosses her path for the rest of the day and has likely already blown me out to her boyfriend and her mother. She won't tell them the conversation, just that I was being "an unreasonable bitch" and I'm "trying to make everything SO hard on her." Haha, she just doesn't get up my nose the way I get up hers, and is it wrong of me that I sorta do it on purpose... ?

Per Jason's request and recommendation I am writing you this morning to "discuss" Lizzie's tickets with you. It was entirely too much to text.
I have found tickets for her, which I am going to buy this Friday. I know we had previously discussed a few things when it comes to buying tickets for her; that you would prefer me to buy them round trip all at once, rather than one way at a time and also that you would prefer her to be on non-stop flights or flights where it stops, but she doesn't need to change planes. 
At this time, those two things are in direct contradiction to something you & Jason had previously discussed; that the girls had to fly out of either Hartford or Providence. 
I can get Lizzie on a round trip flight, from Manchester, NH to Nashville, TN from the start of July to the start of August. There is a plane change going back, but coming down to Alabama its just a stop. I did some research on the Manchester airport, and from what I understand, it is only 20 minutes further away than driving to Hartford/Windsor Locks. It is also easy to get to from the road and the check-in/boarding process is easy as well.
Let me know what you want me to do; I know you prefer her to be on a non-stop and to have the round trip purchased all at once but without flying her out of Manchester, that's not going to be feasible.

1st I guess for this ONE TIME ONLY I’ll concede to the Manchester NH airport. In the future, this will not be acceptable.
2nd Elizabeth CANNOT under any circumstances change planes without assistance. This is non-negotiable. She is scared enough of having to fly alone for the first time, let’s not toss a plane change  in there too.
3rd I want actual dates, There were dates that we had agreed on. I want to know those dates that you are planning  on ( I know I offered a bit of flexibility on the return date, but it HAS to fall on a weekend) and no, that does not mean you can keep her an extra week, just to suit your wallet

I can see not doing the Manchester airport again in the future if it is a clusterf*ck and hard to get to; but if it is actually easier than Hartford or Providence, I don't see why you wouldn't want to keep doing it. We don't enjoy driving to Nashville, necessarily, but it is easier than Birmingham to get in and out of and easier to navigate in general.
If she flies Southwest, which is what I am looking at, she will have all the assistance she needs. All she will have to do is ask for it. I have already discussed this with her. Contradictory to what you say, it IS and shall remain negotiable. You & Jason never made any stipulations otherwise that she couldn't/wouldn't be changing planes.
By the way, she didn't seem that scared when she and I discussed it. Perhaps if it was discussed on that end from a calm, reasonable and "see how easy this is" point of view, it would assuage her anxiety. When the tickets are purchased, you can look at the airport maps/terminals and explain to her about what to do if/when she changes planes; how find the monitors that show her next flight, that sort of thing. Explain to her how to go up to the ticket counter, talk about how she is flying alone and ask someone to help her. Southwest agents are EXTREMELY accommodating.
I was looking at July 01 to August 06, which are the dates we had previously agreed on.

We initially agreed on her flying out the SAME DAY that Mellissa would have been returning. Which is the 29th, NOT the 1st.  I cannot get her to the airport on the 1st. perhaps you should have looked that up. We agreed on her flying out the SAME DAY Mimi would have flown back, not the first.  Do I need to repeat it again?

Well now that Mimi isn't flying, its rather a moot point, isn't it?
Your only stipulation to Jason was that if Lizzie was to be flying during the week you needed two weeks notice to accommodate that scheduling. Your words. 
Would you like me to reforward you the email back?

Whatever, Do what you’re going to do. It’s not like anything I say will make a difference anyway.  FYI, the reason that Manchester is not an option going forward, is that it’s an additional 40 miles away

What you say would make a difference if you were actually being reasonable and caring about anybody but yourself. However, your narcissism prevents that from being the case.
And Manchester, while further away in miles, it only takes an extra 15-20 minutes to get there. Again, if it is easier, why not spend the extra time in the car for an easier, better experience?
You were the one that had to put the stipulation in about flying in and out of only Hartford/Providence. Jason could've done the same and said that the girls could only fly in and out of Huntsville, to make it equidistant for us in drive and time. But he is not unreasonable and didn't see the need to do that. We understand that their flying in and out of Nashville might be cheaper and since we knew a time would come when you (or your parents, more so) would be buying tickets for their flights, he didn't put that in. I don't understand why you wouldn't continue to "concede" to something that makes it easier on us, thereby saving us money and making a better time for Lizzie while she's here. You can't profess to want the best for Lizzie and then make things harder on Jason which will trickle down to make things harder on her.
I really hope that in the future you become less selfish and start to care about how your actions and manipulations impact others. Otherwise you will continue to have a very shallow, lonely life, for the rest of your life.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

This chick puts the "D" in Douchecanoe...

She made the mistake of asking what I thought of her... the first thing I thought was, "I could tell her. That'd be fun." That was immediately followed by "no, I promised I'd be nice." So I didn't say what I wanted to, which was "you're a self-centered, self-important, posturing, snobby, fronting, self-concerned, self-involved worst supervisor I have ever had. You don't care what you have to do to make yourself look good and seem better than everybody else. You preach to be a Christian but sure don't act like it. Lets not forget you're rude, disrespectful, disorganized, clueless and unprofessional." I didn't say it, but shiiiiiiiiiiit... I wanted to.

It all came to a head today because she asked me what I thought of her, and the stuff with the meeting minutes, but I'll get to that in a minute (ha!). When she asked, I simply said, "because of the conversation I had earlier about this, in which I promised to be nice, I respectfully decline to answer that question." So I didn't answer it. But like I said, I sure wanted to.

Back in February, we had a treatment team meeting, during which time she made her feelings about some things known. So in the minutes for the meeting I put "she feels that our policy on such-and-such needs to be more clearly documented." When I presented the minutes to her to check off on, she took them from me and later that day told me she had placed a paragraph document in my folder on the network that stated how she wanted me to change the minutes. It was a long, drawn out piece of nonsense to replace my two sentences. In it she postured about what had been "said, not felt" and how she had discussed it with the senior counselors and such-and-such was reached and she did this-and-that as the supervisor. I thanked her for her input and sought out the advice of the program director, who said that I should just leave the minutes as they are, because I wrote down what was said, and felt, and there was nothing wrong with that. I let it go. Today, it came back up because she asked me to recopy meeting minutes for her to put in the counselor supervision charts. Mind you, I had already done this, so her asking me to go back and recopy the notes from January on, means she lost them. Anyway, that's neither here nor there; today when I gave her the copies of the minutes she asked me why I hadn't changed them as she'd asked. I said, "because I had a conversation with YOUR supervisor, who told me to leave them as I had written them." She asked how come she hadn't been told, I said I didn't know and figured that was that. She said something about how she just really wanted them changed, I said I wasn't going to, because I wasn't going to change the words to make her look good. I don't remember what she said then, but it got my hackles up and she said "you know Mel, you can really drop the attitude." I told her I would when she did.
When we met with the director, she accused me of trying to make her look bad by not changing it to her words which would make her look good. I told her "no ma'am, I am doing no such thing. There is a difference." She said there wasn't, they were opposite, if you don't look good you look bad. I attempted to argue, but let it go. I was winning on the meeting issue.

So then we went on to meet with the program director, who said that he wanted us to talk about what issues we're having, so she talked and I... tried. But I couldn't get a word in edgewise, so I finally gave up. I was asked several times if I had anything else to say and I just said no, that it wasn't worth it. That's one of those things that she does. Reminds me of this:
"Knock knock"
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting Cow"

Now... lets move on to the way she parks her car. At work, on one side of the building, we have a parking space, a non-space in front of which is our HVAC stuff, a space marked "reserved for Medical Director" and several spaces to the right. She parks in either the non-space or the space for the doctor. Last week, one of my coworkers, J, had to park to the left of this chick's car. But this chick had her car so far over in the non-space, that J 's car was out in the drive a little bit. We were all worried that she would get clipped, so we had J move her car. We talked about it with this chick, including telling her it was a non-space, and she replied, "well, I've been parking there all week." I said, "that doesn't make it right." But, she doesn't care. She is going to do what she wants to do and that is the end of that.
Today she was again in the non-space. I parked in the space to the left, and all the way in the lines, correctly. The right side of my truck, however, was so close to the left side of her car that should have had to leave before me, she couldn't have. And I would've loved to have her ask me to move my car. Ummm... NO!

She also feels that she should be involved in every decision made and has to know what folks are doing down to the very last second. She was snarky and rude to me today about a meeting when she called-she said "are you even going to BE here for it?" I said "yes, why wouldn't I be?" She said, "I don't know." I asked her afterwards if all of that was about my having left early yesterday and not told her and she said it was. I said that I was terribly sorry, I had received a call from the school nurse about my sick child and I didn't have time to find her. She wasn't in her office, so I told the program director and I left. I doubt she honestly cared yesterday that I wasn't there, she was just pissed that I hadn't taken the time to chase her down all over the clinic to tell her that I had an emergency and had to leave five minutes ago.

This chick is one of those that looks for "help" and back up to what she thinks, but only until you don't agree with her. As soon as you disagree with what she has to say and doesn't matter if you're right or not, she becomes rude and ugly and has thrown staff out of her office. Case in point; she didn't know how to do something (after working there for six months) and asked for help. My coworker, L, told her the right way to do it. I supported L and said that was correct. Well, it wasn't what this chick wanted to hear, because it wasn't what she thought would happen. So again, off to the program director she went. She was VERY loud, blowing L up, talking about her being rude and insubordinate and all of this other nonsense. L was right and this chick was wrong. So immediately she spun it around to be something else to make L look bad.

Doesn't that kind of behavior just crawl your ass? As soon as someone is proven to be wrong, or they're not getting the kind of bullshit reinforcement they are looking for, they turn the conversation around spin it so "that's not really what I was talking about" and "okay, but the REAL issue is this", in order to make themselves look better and the other person look bad.

Lets move on to insecurity, shall we? During the conversation today with the program director, we were told that we didn't have to be friends, but we had to be respectful of each other and work well together for the next 7 days. This chick said, "well, I don't need any more friends. I have more friends than I can count. I actually need to get rid of some, I think."
SERIOUSLY?!? Who SAYS that?!?

I won't even get started on her when it comes to church and religion and such; other than to say that she's one of "those" folks. Today, when I said in our meeting that what I had to say didn't matter, she asked why. I said, "because after next Friday, I'll never see you again in my entire life." She said, "I don't know, the Lord works in mysterious ways." Really? Did you just bring God into it?

So after the meeting with the program director wasn't going the way she wanted it to, she started talking about how "the other counselors come into her office and complain about Mel G". Really? According to her the clients are upset about this-and-that I'm doing, including the way I'm dressed. Is she absolutely SURE the clients are complaining about the way I'M dressed? I'm not the one who is wearing inappropriately tight dresses and having my cleavage all hanging out to there and back. I may wear yoga pants and t-shirts some days, but at least I'm covered and nothing is inappropriately tight.

Next, are we all familiar with those "Real Housewives" shows? Well this chick is part of one down here called "Bama Wives". It premiered on one of our local channels some weeks ago. Totally inappropriate for viewing while we're at work with clients in the building, right? Didn't stop her. It was on TV in our main lobby with a crowd of staff people around it, watching her and her friends make asses of themselves. In my opinion, she, as the clinical supervisor, should've noted the inappropriateness of the show and kept the staff from watching it. But what do I know?

Last but not least... she is SO full of herself that she thought that something she said to me about "keeping positive" and "not having a negative outlook" is what is making the difference right now in my being able to stop working and stay home with Bubs. Some months ago, the counselors were getting take-out for lunch (which is a multi-time-a-week occurrence). She asked me if I wanted to get something and I said no, I didn't have money. I said that if we were going to do take-out then I was going to wait and we'd do it with the kids, together as a family, that I just didn't have the money for lunches out. She told me to not be so negative, that I "wouldn't always be that poor" and I had to think positively about my situation.
So now that I am able to stay home with Bub, she just KNOWS its because of what she said to me, that her positive, encouraging words made the difference and that's why I am able.
SERIOUSLY?!? How much more full of herself can she possibly get?!?

So, can I share with y'all the absolute WORST part?!?

You ready?

Her name is...