Friday, October 21, 2011

This, That & the Other

That is a way I have often referred to the kids... also to call them "Frick, Frack & Freda", which I got from an old coworker at Alternatives. They're also "Thing 1 & Thing 2" in any combination-the big girls, the little kids, it doesn't matter.
I have a lot in my cluttered mind today, so likely this blog will be here, there & everywhere.

I am missing a black sheep from Littlest Pet Shop. I have found some of the missing toys and I even set them on a shelf so they wouldn't get lost again, and then a cat sat on the shelf and the stuff is in the floor. Fart.

I put in an application for Bath & Body Works today to try and get a Seasonal job. While I was there I "sampled" the Secret Wonderland. Oh, how I miss my Secret Wonderland. We still haven't found it, despite Jason having gone through the trash. /sigh, maybe Santa will bring me some for Christmas. Not like NEED more perfume; especially when you think about kids in our country who won't get even a Christmas dinner because its all they can do to keep the heat on through the winter. Really gives pause to thinking about "too much" and what we really "need".

I have this blog in one window on my computer and "Bend It Like Beckham" in another window. Another not-so-guilty "guilty pleasure". I SO want to go to England, but I feel about that the way I felt about going to some other places the first time-don't take me, I might not come home. I wonder what it would be like to live in London. I have a minor obsession with British Indians. One of the girls I used to work with at Alternatives is British Indian, and with her name and her features, the first time she opened her mouth I was not expecting a British accent.

I was driving to pick up Alex & Bub yesterday and designing (in my mind) the mother's ring I want. Except I don't want it to just be a mother's ring. I want it to be a "family ring" and incorporate Jason's & my birthstones too. So how to get four kid's stones set with two diamonds to make the perfect ring...? But wait, shouldn't the ring wait until after I'm sure we're done having kids? Yeah, probably.
We have four healthy kids. Yes, Mimi is a Diabetical (as a friend of mine says), but she's healthy overall. Somebody I know through FaceBook is celebrating his son's first birthday today, only his son passed away last Spring. Another friend of a friend is talking about how she's going to get through this Christmas, because her infant daughter passed away at the end of last winter. I read a link from a photography site today about an infant boy who was born with a very rare defect, and he probably won't live past being three months old.
So why the hell are Jason & I so special? Why do we get the healthy kids and other people have to suffer with their babies dying? To quote something I read earlier, "I will never understand why babies have to die."

So... for anybody who doesn't know, I started a self-made diet & exercise program. The hardest things for me are, well, all of it. I struggle with  my eating habits, because if you know me, you know I am a total stress-eater. I get angry, sad, upset, frustrated, disappointed, etc., and I want to eat. And likely eat junk food. I have been exercising the past three days and that feels fantastic. I actually DO feel better than I have, so maybe if I keep exercising the diet will sort of fall into place. I am noticing that the more water I have been drinking, the more water I want. I suppose that's a good thing-the more water I drink, the less hungry I am.
I thought about all of my past attempts at weight loss. I wish I could get in the kind of shape I was in when I was in college. Then I was grousing about size 8 pants being big. /sigh
But I could do 400 situps in one shot, run miles at a time, do 2 hours of aerobics. Right now I don't know what size pants I wear, because I refuse to measure, I jogged 3 minutes yesterday on the Wii-Fit and like to died, and I can barely do 20 minutes of aerobics.
We bought the Wii-Fit and used it for a while, then stopped for some reason, probably because we got sick. So last year I bought a Jillian Michaels DVD and used it for a while, then stopped because we came down to Alabama on vacation and then when we got back to Connecticut we immediately transitioned into moving-mode.
I try to quietly watch what I eat and to exercise when the kids aren't around. The kids should see me being healthy and exercising a little bit, but they shouldn't see the obsessive-quality it takes on. My father always exercised when I was a kid and I think that might be part of the reason I have a problem with body image. I think the other part of it is just being a woman. I just don't want it to be a "thing" for our kids. The older two girls already have some things going against them, especially with Mimi being a Diabetical.

What's next? I sent a letter to Mimi & Liz today asking them for their Christmas list (for the 3rd time). I made it as easy as possible this time... I wrote each of their names at the top of a piece of paper, enclosed a self-addressed, pre-stamped envelope so all they have to do is fill out the papers, put them in the envelope and put the envelope in the box. No writing addresses, no stressing about getting a stamp. All done. Hopefully now we'll get their Christmas lists from them.

I have lost my want to read right now. I wish I had more of the Harry Bosch books. I want to reread them but don't feel like being arsed by the library. They're on my Christmas list, and truthfully about all I really want, other than a bottle of Secret Wonderland and the kids to have a great Christmas and not realize that they go without. I think that's one of the measures of a good parent; if you can get by for your kids without them realizing they go without, you're doing a good job.

What else? I have Mel C's "I Turn To You" in my head. And Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is hot. And my husband knows I think that, so I feel no guilt in writing it.
I guess I need to check the paper I started at work the other day to see what else I wanted to blog about.

The last subject is... Becky.
I have it, through a good source, that my suspicions were confirmed. She isn't friends with Mimi on FaceBook... her own child. Not MY child, if you listen to Becky, but HER child. Why? Good question that she never really answered. She did, however, say that it wasn't because she talks crap about me & Jason and doesn't want Mimi to say. Yeah, well, I call bullshit on that. I've seen some of the stuff she has written, and if the girls saw it, it would completely ruin her argument that she is better than we are because she "doesn't talk about us on FaceBook". Haha, yeah, okay.
The girls, reportedly, told her everything that Jason and I (mostly I) said over the summer. I went on one really good tirade in their hearing and I am somewhat ashamed of that. All of these years it has been Becky & her folks that have gone on about me & Jason in front of the girls and Jason & I have done it in private. I guess it got on my last nerve at the wrong time.
I think the other part of it too is that I think the girls are at the age where they can handle some of the truth. And I told them that. Mimi asked to read some stuff and I let her; there are some things I didn't let her read and I won't until she's older. And then there are some things the girls will never know. Ever. Unless of course Becky tells them, but I don't know why she would because it won't make her look favorable.
Anyhow, I know I apologized in the moment to the two of them, for losing my temper. I'm sure I didn't apologize for what I said, just for the fact that they had to hear it. She is their mother, regardless. I'm just glad it didn't damage the relationship I have tried so hard to make all these years with them.
I realized, too, after they left, that we spent the majority of our time focused on where Mimi wanted to live, because she is the older and she would be the "deciding vote", as it were. But this year coming, Lizzie will be 12 (yikes!) and it might be will be high time to ask for and try to honor her opinion.

I think I'm done writing for now...
I have to go pick up the kids in about a half-hour. Alex has decided that her new favorite thing is to ride the bus to daycare and go to the "big kids' room" for a while, so she gets all bent out of shape if I get there to pick her up too early. She likes to have a snack and do a coloring project  (while the big-big kids are doing their homework). So, okay. Its not any big deal to me to go a half-hour later, and Bubba doesn't seem to mind any either.
And truthfully, I enjoy the quiet time at home for a couple hours. It lets me get stuff done like this... and I suppose do some housework as well. There's laundry to do (of course) and dishes. I read a very interesting blog earlier about how to control your laundry before it controls you. Definitely some good points.

As always, feel free to comment here or on FaceBook. Love y'all.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Random Rambler

So... after again finishing the last Harry Potter book, I feel like I felt before. There was absolutely no need to bump off Hedwig, and if she wanted to kill a Weasley, it should have been Percy. I also hate that Mad-Eye and Lupin had to go, but I like that she left Lupin's son orphaned. Gives her somewhere to go if she wants to write a second series.
Rereading the books also makes me wish I was a wizard. There are some people I'd love to cast a couple of Unforgivable Curses on. Or maybe not the Unforgivables, since I don't want to go to Azkaban... but I can think of a couple of other uncomfortable ones.

Its Summer in Alabama-been in the 90s here lately, which  means work is the sub-Arctic and home isn't much better. Jason gets too hot too quick, and then starts to feel sick, Bless him, so we keep it cool. But then I freeze. I actually have to take clothes OFF to go outside. I wish Sebastian would get used to Play Water again-he loved it last year. Not this year.

This will be a short work week because of the Memorial Day holiday yesterday. Next week is normal, then the following week we have Counselor Camp. The week after that, we go on "vacation", and the week after that is the last week of June. This month is also going to sail by like its something to do. Then I'm going to blink and it will be Alex's first day of Kindergarten, Lizzie's first day of Middle School, Mimi's first day of High School... yikes! Then it will be Christmas and time to start the whole bloody process all over again.

Pray for us when we go to CT, that court goes well. That it isn't too much of a hassle. I'm not going to say more than that, because I recently asked Mimi if she thought I was too negative about her mother and she said yes! I was a little befuttled, considering some of the things she used to say. I told her was that I didn't want my reasons (what I felt were sound reasons) to come off as excuses to her, so all I was saying at that moment was that there is stuff she doesn't know yet and that I don't do anything unprovoked. And I left it at that. I hope that was the right answer.
Jason is looking forward to sitting down with her and having a talk when the girls come down. A real talk. It should be a good night.

We have actually been getting a good bit done lately. Cleaned the kitchen, did a mess of dishes, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned ALEX'S ROOM (the girls' room)... What a project that was! It took me three days to get it to the point of her being able to get back in there. But the toys are organized, her clothes are all in her closet (still need to organize),  her books are in the shelves (still need to organize); but its definitely coming alone.

I am not going to dwell on it, but money sucks. Makes the world go 'round, to be sure; but also is undeniably the root of all evil. I'm tired of trying to figure out how to make a car payment, keep the lights on and feed the kids all in the same month. I'm also tired of being financially responsible. I know we need to be, because we need to get our credit scores back up, but I'm SO sick of it. I'm tired of having to budget every bill, to drive for a day with the gas light on. I'd really like to be able to just pay a bill when it comes in, to put gas in the truck when it gets low. The worst part of it is having to tell the kids no when they ask for a toy or to go to McDonalds. Makes me feel like a lousy parent.
Along those lines, I'm struggling with getting a cat sitter for the time we are on vacation. To get one or not? I think that if we buy a big bag of cat food, open it up and then get some of those dispenser-water bottles for them, they'll be okay. They'll be fine without their litter getting changed, too; albeit the house will be a bit smelly when we get back, but that's okay. I think I'd rather spend the money in the short run and get the water things (maybe it will keep them from spilling everywhere every-flippin-time) then spend God-knows-what on a pet sitter.

Its getting on to bedtime for the kids and maybe Jason & I are then going to watch "Harry Potter and the Prisioner of Azkaban". It is one of my favorite movies because I like Lupin. I like the boggart and the "riddikulus". Makes me wonder what a boggart would turn into for me.

Jason is working on his resume right now. We had a discussion last night about resumes and getting better jobs and things of that nature. We have decided that we are going to expand our horizons outside of the state of Alabama. I don't think know if we will get something outside of the state without living in that particular place first, but we also figure it can't hurt.
I hate to say that it no longer matters where we live... but its the truth. We can live in Alabama, Arizona, California... it doesn't really matter anymore. Visitation here is visitation there is visitation anywhere. Mimi has said that she is "fine" where she is and doesn't know what she wants, I think. I don't remember her exact verbage but that was the gist. I am trying very hard not to "put words in her mouth" as she has accused me of doing.
Truth be told, we haven't asked Lizzie where she wants to live. We always assumed that Mimi was the one that wanted to live with us, as she has been (for the last 8 years) the most vocal about it. Lizzie has only here recently started saying she wants to be with us. So I don't know, we should ask her. I quite heartily apologize for the fact that I didn't think of that sooner. Bad me.
I do know, however, that it will be hard to get Lizzie without Mimi, harder than getting Mimi without Lizzie. I think that them being separated for a period of time probably wouldn't be bad for either of them. Maybe Mimi would get out some of her aggression in a healthy way; and Lizzie, I think, is a different person all underneath who we "see". I wonder what she is like without Mimi's shadow. We might get to find out this summer, as Mimi apparently has "required" band camp. That being the case, we are going to try and keep Lizzie down here with us while Mimi goes back for band camp.
I also definitely, definitely know, that no matter what, I have loved and treated those girls as my own since they were small, and that aint gonna change. Ever. <3 Mimi <3 Lizzie <3

I think I'm done... I started this yesterday and I think I have hit every point I meant to. I have a migraine today so I'm not thinking clearly. I have to go pack up the kids-they're spending the next two nights with Jacquie, and unfortunately getting subjected to "Bible school". Ugh.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Culinary Bucket List

As promised... round two.

1.Bronzeback Cafe/360 Grille-Florence
2.Cafe Du Monde-New Orleans
3. Deep Dish pizza in Chicago
4. Chicago hot dog in Chicago
5. Church's Chicken
6. Dyer's Burgers, Memphis
7. El Pollo Loco
8. Gulf shrimp at Gulf Shores
9. Gus' Fried Chicken, Memphis
10. Heart Attack Grill
11. Hollywood Cafe, Mississippi
12. In & Out Burger
13. Katz's Deli, NYC
14. McDonald's in NYC-the expensive one
15. Peter Luger's Steaks, NYC
16. Primanti Brothers, Pittsburgh
17. Rendezvous Ribs, Memphis (we've had the food, but I want to go there to eat it)
18. Varsity, Atlanta
19. Willie Mae's Scotch House, New Orleans
20. Wing It, Buffalo

Bucket List

A friend (cousin) of mine posted her Bucket List, so I thought I would share mine. I have a Culinary Bucket List as well, but I'll save that for a second post.

1. Visit Asia (China, Korea, Japan, India)
2. Visit Europe (England, Germany, Spain, Ireland)
3. Specifically in London, Garden Lodge, where Freddie Mercury lived
4. Specifically in Montreux, the statue of Freddie
5. Visit Brazil-Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio
6. Iron Bowl
7. Arizona-Phoenix, Grand Canyon, Lake Havasu, Tucson (more time to explore)
8. California-San Francisco, LA, Hollywood, San Diego, swim in Pacific Ocean
9. Chicago-Sears Tower, Tribune Building
10. Philadelphia Eagles game (in Philly is a bonus)
11. Hawaii-Pearl Harbor
12. Hell, Michigan
13. Hoover Dam
14. Memphis (and Memphis in May)
15. Mobile & Gulf Shores
16. New Orleans
17. Niagra Falls
18. Northern Lights / Southern Lights
19. NYC at Christmas / Times Square at NYE
20. Seattle
21. See new Barenaked Ladies (without Steven Page)
22. See Lifehouse
23. Get an advanced degree (MSCJ or JD)
24. Live in Arizona
25. Own a home
26. See Kevin Hearn & the Thin Buckle
27. Own a Newfoundland
28. Own another Maine Coon (I may be getting this one now, since Riff is a longhair and we're not sure what kind. She looks more Norwegian Forest to me, but we'll see when she gets bigger)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Five Question Monday(?)

1. What are your favorite Easter traditions?
I like hiding eggs for the kids and watching them run around all crazy. Whether here or at the Grandparents' house.

2. Are you a "shower" or "long, hot bath" sort of person?
More of a "long, hot shower" kind of person. I rarely take baths, but ever so often I will.
But I do enjoy a long shower. I also like being left alone while I'm in the shower. Doesn't happen often, but a girl can dream.

3. Can you parallel park and if so, when was the last time?
I SUCK at parallel parking. I can do it, but I generally will opt not to. Its been a while since I've had to.

4. What is your favorite Easter candy?
All time favorite is Peeps. But I also enjoy little chocolate eggs.

5. Easter: do you go all out with the Easter Bunny or focus on the religious aspect?
We're Easter Bunny sort of people. Although I have to admit that yesterday was the first Easter in a while I actually felt God. Hmm...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Five Question Friday-04/15/2011

1. What is your favorite sign of Spring?
There is this bird with a two-tone song, and when he/she chirps in the mornings, I know its going to be Spring soon. Ellen & I used to listen for him/her together. This year hearing the bird made me miss Ellen.

2. What was your best birthday ever?
Um... I don't know. Birthdays are not a big deal for me, and I can remember the shitty ones. I guess if I had to pick, maybe 27 and 30? Alex was born right before 27 and Sebastian was born right before 30.

3. What is your favorite dessert?
Um... another "I don't know". I love cookies, cake, chocolate. I guess if I had to pick, I would pick chocolate ice cream, and that's because I only can have about a 1/2 teaspoon of it at a time.

4. What is the best excuse you've ever used to get out of a ticket?
I've never used an excuse to get out of a ticket. I've been pulled over probably 1/2 a dozen times, and always told the officer exactly what was going on and why I was exceeding the speed limit or whatever the case was. I have only gotten a ticket once. And I deserved it.

5. Do you wake up before your alarm, with your alarm or after hitting snooze several times?
Wake up or get up? There is a big difference around here. Sebastian wakes me up around 2, cat wakes me up around 3, alarm goes off at 415. I hit snooze a couple times and actually get up around 445.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Updates & Showing My Hand

So... some updates are overdue and through them I will be showing my hand a little bit, but I have decided that's okay.

First, any suggestions on how to keep a stretchy two-year-old Boyo from reaching the front door catch and trying to escape? Little fellow is going to give me a heart attack.

It is April in Alabama, and 85* in Huntsville today. Aaaahhhh...


I started writing this a few days ago, and then the draft (the above-listed stuff) got saved before the power went out. We blew a fuse-circuit-thing because we had the washer running, the dryer running, lights, ceiling fans, dishwasher(?) and the lone air conditioner. Turns out this house doesn't harness that much juice well. Also turns out that we don't need more than one air conditioner for the size of this house. Which I guess is both good and bad-I don't like not being able to better control the coolth of each room, but its nice not to have certain rooms be like the Arctic Circle.

Yesterday (04/10) was my birthday. Oh joy, oh rapture, I'm 32. I was initially having a hard time with it because I am now the age my mother was when she gave birth to me, and I always felt like the kid at school with the "old mom", and I didn't want to be the "old mom" when I had kids. I guess 32 with a 2-year-old isn't too bad; provided we don't have any more kids. That decision is up in the air. Like I'd said on an earlier blog, you watch... we'll decide to have just one more, and I'll end up pregnant with twins.

Prayer requests, before I go any further:
There is a little boy named Reilly who is valiantly fighting for his life at Yale New Haven Hospital, in New Haven, CT. He is only 6 months old, but completely wired for lights & sound. He is fighting like crazy but still needs the positive power of prayer to bring him up. If you're reading this on FaceBook, go to my groups and see the one about Reilly Francis Maxim-that is him-join the group or the prayer page and spend a couple minutes a day making sure God knows we are not ready for this baby boy to go home to Him; but rather go home with his parents.
Next, a close friend of mine's daughter was just hospitalized due to feeding and not-growing type of issues. Please pray that she is not in there for long and the doctors are able to determine the cause of her problems and get her back home to her Mommy & Daddy, brothers & sister.

Moving right along... I don't think there is anybody out there who doesn't know about our Brown Recluse Spider incident, so I'll just skip that. The bug man came today.

We are constantly and consistently working on cleaning the house, when neither of us isn't so tired we can't move. A childless friend asked me last week why I was so tired, and what it takes to get our house clean. Obviously he has never tried to pick up and sweep/dust/mop, etc. with a rambunctious, precocious two-year-old "helping Mommy". *grin* Not his fault, ignorance can be bliss.


Another day, another start on this. I have it handwritten out on a legal pad of sorts, so perhaps since all I have to do is transcribe it, I will actually get it done tonight.
First off, we took the kids to the park this evening. Then we had McDonalds for supper, which Bubs didn't really want any of?! The only way he seemed to want food was if it was somebody else's. Wanted a burger as long as it was mine, wanted a chicken nugget as long as it was Sissy's, wanted Daddy's frappe. No frappes for little fellows.

Moving right along...
I am trying, as always, to be a better, more understanding sort of  person. Forgiving of others' shortcomings, accepting of differences, etc. I realized earlier that I have no problem accepting and admitting my own shortcomings; its just the attitude that I occasionally convey that isn't pleasant. I recently wrote three or four emails, none of which I sent, but rather waited a couple weeks until I was less pissy and then rewrote as cards and notes. I'm hoping that their intended targets are pleased to read my words and the issues/problems/etc. are solved.

I don't understand how one person continues to be how she is this many years later. I supposed its just who/how she is. Ugly & hateful. Sucks, though, because this must be who she really is. And if she is honestly that miserable? I feel bad for her, because I don't know how she can live that miserably. She is right now getting a healthy dose of Karma bitch-slapping her, and this (admittedly) makes me happier than it probably should. But I digress...

Question: if the same situation happens to you more than once, at what point do you start asking if there is a part of you that either has changed or needs to?

Let go and let God...
Easy to do with the exception of a couple relationships.
(forgive my grammatically incorrect use of "they", but I'm doing so to protect the confidentiality of the individual)
So... I think we were kidding ourselves to think we could be friends again, real friends, after all these years. There was just way too much history. We tried, went back and forth. This person is very two-faced; one face for me, one face for the rest of the world. It was explained and justified by the hell they'd catch if the "right" people found out we were friends.
I believe, in the cockles of my heart, that this person still loves me in a way they are not ready to deal with; a way that they cannot process and understand, because they way I feel is something that I cannot understand sometimes, and I don't try to understand it. I just sorta roll with it. It always just was what it was and I took it as it came; love, hate, joy, pain, confusion, hurt.
It seems to have ended-and sometimes I feel relieved. Other times, not so much. I feel torn about it. I miss their text tone on my phone. Silly, right? I know the stress isn't worth it, I have felt better since not having to deal with their stress-I just miss the friend I used to have. And that's just it. I miss who they USED to be, not who they are now.

(aside: I wonder how many strippers dance to My Darkest Days song "Porn Star Dancing"?)

"Everything happens for a reason, people change so we learn to let go, sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together."

I have a hard time letting go. Always have.

Speaking of things it is hard to let go of... my relationship with TC Becky. I miss her text tone too. We rarely talked about anything but the kids, although we did have a couple of two-and-three-hour conversations at night when I would drop off the girls to her house. One I recall, we thought back fondly to when we were kids and about the late-night conversations we would have, timing the phone calls so that the phone didn't actually ring when we called each other back, but just timed perfectly so that we could pick up. We used to talk for hours.

Amazing how things change over the years. Really amazing.

There is so much I want to say about brainwashing and mirroring and using the children, about projection, dishonesty and selfishness… but to what purpose? So Mimi won’t be allowed to sign into her FaceBook anymore because my blog is accessible through FB and Becky’s argument is that I post “inappropriate” things about her? This is not intended to make Mimi’s life harder than it needs to be. She already isn’t happy in her situation and feels her life is “crappy”. I know some of that needs to be taken with the grain of salt that comes with a 13-year-old girl, but I also know deep down that some of it is her situation and what she is forced to deal with. And those of you who know the truth know that Jason & I have been fighting for years to get her (and Liz too) to live with us so we can make her (their) life (lives) better. But to no avail, because every time we try, Becky plays the victim card and we don’t get a chance. She was quoted as saying “I might not know what is best for her (referring to Mimi), but she isn’t moving with you and that’s final. She can hate me for the rest of her life. I don’t care.”
Then in January of 2010, Becky started agreeing to Mimi living with us, no matter where we were living… but when time came for Jason to actually get Mimi, Becky said to Family Services, “yes, I agreed, but I changed my mind.” When Jason argued with her about it, she retorted, “what? You never changed your mind before?” Jason answered, “well of course I have, but not when it messes with the lives of my children.” Becky also admitted that both girls told her that they wanted to live with us, but that we were “brainwashing them, telling them lies, making them false promises about getting a dog and having a house with a pool.” Jason and I talked about this earlier today and Becky has had them for the last few months uninterrupted, so she has had plenty of time to “unbrainwash” them. So we’ll see now…

There is so SO much that I can’t wait for the girls to be older so I can tell them… there is some of it I will NEVER tell them, just because of the content of the material, but there is so much they have been not told the truth about over the years, or told the truth about by me & Jason only to have Becky & her parents insist that the girls shouldn’t believe us, that all we are doing is lying, and that they should instead believe Becky & her parents because THEY love the girls and would NEVER lie to them. Yeah… okay…

Two of the last times they went to court, Becky was told by multiple Family Services workers that the best thing to do is to let Mimi finish 8th grade up in Connecticut and then let her move with Jason to start High School; and that that would be the best thing to do for her, and if she didn’t like living with Jason, then she could move back for her second year of high school without any issues. Think Becky went for it? Nope, she instead went for filling Mimi’s head with all of the great things she can do in high school, but that she HAS to do them in Connecticut. She’s started with Lizzie too… Lizzie asked if she lived with us in Alabama if she could play clarinet. We said of course she could, why? Liz said “because Meme said that if I stay here she’ll buy me a clarinet to play.”
Wait… and WE are the ones brainwashing them… HOW?

Anyway, Becky uses Mimi’s FaceBook to lurk on my page and maybe Jason’s, but I know me for sure. And that isn’t paranoia speaking, that’s fact. She has made comments about things I posted back in February; which means she had to scroll down a month & a half’s worth of posts and FarmVille and whatever else to find it. She had to be looking for it… because I know Mimi wouldn’t have done that. And even if Mimi HAD found it, she damn sure wouldn’t have run to Becky and said “look what Mama posted”. My girl wouldn’t do me like that.
The part Becky doesn’t know (although by now she probably does because she logged on as Mimi again and read my blog… Becky, go ahead and just bookmark it. You can’t comment on it, but you can lurk, go right ahead) is that posts of that nature are protected under the First Amendment. I can post whatever I want.

Lets take a minute and question what she is putting on her FB page, shall we? The world may never know… why? Glad you asked. Becky first defriended Jason, and then she defriended Mimi. Her own daughter. Who DOES that? Right… people who are posting things that are inappropriate and don’t want to get nailed for what they are saying and or doing that they shouldn’t be. People who don’t want to get called hypocrites because they are blasting others and what others are posting, but are doing the exact same thing on their own pages. Really, if she had nothing to hide, she wouldn’t have defriended Jason or Mimi. And why wouldn’t she want to be Mimi’s friend on FaceBook? Wouldn’t you think she’d want to monitor her actions? Wait… she’s just logging in as Mimi instead. Think Mimi knows that? Becky also defriended every mutual friend that she and I had. Again, paranoid much? But Becky is nothing if not paranoid-always has been. Does anybody believe for a hot minute that her intentions are pure? If they were why not make things public? What are you hiding? How could anyone in their right mind believe her intentions are pure? She has constantly perpetuated lies for way too long to believe anything else.

And she has told me some things-things I know that other people might not, and things I know that her husband certainly doesn’t. But if/when she lies about those things to the “right people”… I think that she lies so much and has for so long, that the line is even blurred for her. Does it happen automatically? Or does she even have to think about lying anymore? And for what purpose? That’s what you have to really ask yourself. What is it about the truth-of her life, of who she is, of what she is, of how she is that she is so afraid of? Is she afraid to admit that she’s a lousy mother, a lousy wife and wishes she didn’t have the life she does? Is she afraid to admit that she doesn’t really want any of the kids, that she never has and would give Jason custody if she wouldn’t have to deal with the ineveitable backlash from her mother? She has said before that if she were to ever move out of her parents house that he “could have them”. Which I suppose is a good thing, considering her mother has said before that if Becky moves out and it comes to Jason or Becky getting the girls, she’d rather Jason have them. Wow! What must it be like to know your own mother doesn’t have faith in you? Maybe we should just ask Mimi. Wait… anybody else see a pattern? A cycle? Something that needs breaking & intervention?


So now our current situation: Jason & Becky have been going back and forth via email trying to hash out the girls’ summer vacation plans. I’ll spare y’all the gory details, but the synopsis is that Jason is trying to get the whole summer (as he should have) and Becky is taking her position as cruise director and has the girls’ summer planned out except for two weeks or so that she is so generously telling Jason he can have to “visit” with them. He thinks not. We are going to have to go to court, I’m sure…
I don’t understand why she can’t just be reasonable for a while and actually give Jason time with the girls that he should have. Instead she’s too busy worrying about how all of this “punishes” her and how it makes her life difficult.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Five Question Friday-04/08/2011

1. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?
That's easy. My weight. Hands down. I'd like to be about 30 lbs lighter. Especially now that its Summer(ish) down South.

2. Write about a time you got lost.
Hmm... I have a really good sense of direction so it doesn't happen often. I can't remember a time other than when I was a teenager and purposely "getting lost" driving around.
I was scared to death to get lost when we drove from Connecticut to Alabama. Especially since I had the kids with me. God bless the cell phones; we were in constant contact-Jason, Dad & me.

3. Camping or 5 star hotel?
Hotel! It doesn't even have to be 5-star. I'm perfectly happy at the Hampton Inn. But as a famous TV personality once said, "I'm an indoor girl". I just don't see the need to sleep outside and pee in the woods.

4. Have you donated blood?
Yes I have. Not for several years though.

5. Do you have a budget or do you 'fly by' most months?
I used to be the budget queen! Sometime around July of last year I got "lost" (haha) doing the budget and haven't gotten caught up and rebudgeting since. We've been sort of 'flying by' since. It hasn't been fun and I'm yearning to have the time and opportunity to make a budget.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

About Me ABC's

Age: Almost 32. Literally, almost. Like 3 more days.
Bed Size: Queen. Unless the kid(s) are in the bed with us. Then it feels like a baby bed.
Chore I Hate: Kitty litter. I always try to find a way to weasel my husband into doing it. Usually guilt works-we both work full time jobs and I do EVERYTHING else (except brown recluse spider killing)... he can change the litter.
Dogs: Not until we have more space. Then I want an English Bulldog and a Newfie. Jason wants a Rottweiler.
Essential Start of My Day: Diet Mountain Dew and a few minutes on FaceBook at work before I get bombarded by clients.
Favorite Color: Purple.
Gold or Silver: White gold preferably. But Platinum is nice too. I like the look and that it doesn't tarnish.
Height: Taller than my mother.
Instruments I Play: Voice-I sing. I also can noodle my way through a little bit on the piano. But I haven't for a long time, and when I did it was by ear. I can't read music.
Job Title: Mother. When I'm not doing that I'm a Substance-Abuse Counselor.
Kids: Love them! We have 4. Mimi-13, Liz-10, Alex-5, Bubs-2. Thinking maybe one more in the future? My luck we'd have twins. :)
Live: The beautiful Deep South; Florence, Alabama :)
Milk or Dark Chocolate: Either, thanks.
Nicknames: Mama, Mommy, Mel, Mel Squared, Yocco (that's an oldie). I also used to be called "Tons O Fun".
Overnight Hospital Stays: When I was born, when Alex was born and when Bubs was born. I've also sat up all night in the hospital with friends/clients.
Pet Peeve: LOL, where to start? Talking with your mouth full, chewing with your mouth open, general stupidity, general disrespect and my husband's ex (who fits into a few of those categories).
Quote from a Movie: "Just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid..."
Right or Left-Handed: Technically I can write with both, but its easier to read with the right. I sew left-handed, sorta.
Siblings: Nope.
Time I Wake Up: 415-ish, usually. On the weekends, if I can sleep past 6 I'm doing good.
Underwear: Pretty patterns and colors, bikini-briefs or regular briefs. I know, "granny panties" aren't attractive, but dammit they're comfortable and I have to wear them!
Vegetable I Love: Yes! The list of what I don't like is much shorter.
XRays I Have Had: Teeth, chest. Ankle maybe? I can't remember.
Yummy Food I Make: Soups or stews are my specialty. Jason does the majority of the cooking, so I don't often. But don't confuse "don't" with "can't", like my dear friend Nora did.
Zoo Animal I Like Best: Umm... a hippo or a rhino maybe? Something large and in charge.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

phone blog

I am attempting to blog from my phone. Let's see if it actually works. Apparently auto-correct works on my phone... Hmm...

I am home sick from work. Again. If you know mw, you know how much I HATE being bed-bound. I wish I felt well-enough to go to work. There is a big difference in having a day off because I want one and having a day off because I'm too sick to get up. I got up and sort of bounced down the hall (off the walls) to use the bathroom and down to the kitchen for some water, and the kitchen is so messy! I just had some insight into what it might be like if I go to school full time. Will Jason be able to work full time, take care of the kids and actually keep house? I guess as long as I could study most of the time and clean one day a week? I'm sure we can make it work.

Any suggestions? Jason is good at helping with the kids so I can do chores, and he is good at helping me when I give him a list or a direct request, but he isn't good at taking initiative.

Well, I've been up for a couple hours now and I'm starting to get the sick-fever headache back, so I'm going to sleep. I hope y'all feel better than I do.

Monday, March 14, 2011

100 book challenge~

1. Big Bad Wolf-James Patterson
2. London Bridges-James Patterson
3. Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Ugly Truth-Jeff Kinney
4. Nine Dragons-Michael Connelly
5. The Woman Next Door-Barbara Delinsky
6. The Devil's Punchbowl-Greg Iles
7. The Quiet Game-Greg Iles
8. Turning Angel-Greg Iles
9. Blood Memory-Greg Iles
10. City of Bones-Michael Connelly
11. Lost Light-Michael Connelly
12. The Narrows-Michael Connelly
13. The Closer-Michael Connelly

I just bought some new books for my birthday. The new Mary Higgins Clark, one about the Devil's Highway, and one called "Mothers and other Liars". I might pass that to Mimi. Heh. So I'll add them to the list in order as I get them in.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Five Question Friday a day late...

1. Do you know what your REAL hair color is?
Yes. My real hair color is a mousy brown with red highlights. I think. It has been red for so long through various dyes that I am not wholly sure, to be honest.

2. Do you plan ahead for summer, or fly by the seat of your pants?
We try to plan, but its hard to do with the kids and TC being a tc. Right now she won't even talk to Jason about planning for summer until he produces proof of having taken a diabetes education course. So unless he is able to get through to UAB, summer is goign to be about the same as any other part of the year. If we can get the girls down I want to spend time in Huntsville and Birmingham on the weekends and have fun with them.

3. What is your favorite meal to cook?
I don't know... I don't cook very often. I guess I enjoy making soup or stew from scratch the most. Boiling down the chicken or turkey, making the stock, and then making it better. Yum!

4. Do you get offended by not receiving thank yous?
Not hardly. I think thank-you  notes are outdated and lame. Tell somebody thank you, give a call, send an email... as long as I hear "thank you" in the moment of gift-giving, I'm good.

5. How did you meet your best friend?
Tisha and I were next door neighbors when we were little. I was two and she was one. We started to be friends then and our parents kept our relationship going until we were old enough to like each other enough to express wanting to be friends. We have been the best since-despite the miles and our busy lives, she is the one person I know I can go to anytime for anything. Unequivocally.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Five Question Friday

Here we go... five question Friday~

1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school?
No, thankfully, I haven't. I DID forget to get Alex out of her car seat at one of the girls' soccer games once. But that was only for about five seconds.

2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like... first-first, not first with your current significant other)
Umm... I guess that depends on how you define date. My first boyfriend, we used to go to the mall a bunch... but we didn't really do anything "date"-like.
A real "date" wasn't until later in high school, with a different boyfriend and that date was out to one of the local pizza places. Then we went for a drive. Wow... I was nervous.

3. What is your "silly" fear?
Hands down, the dentist. I'd rather give birth than go to the dentist.

4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with it as it comes or run far far away?
Sometimes I cause it, when it needs to be caused, and when I don't cause it I deal with it head-on.

5. Wood floors or carpet?
Wood floors. Full stop.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Neither a borrower nor a lender be-

Okay, so I will be the first to admit that yes, right now, Jason & I owe people money. We have full intention of paying the total amount back when we get our Federal tax return. The people we owe to are aware of it and we are in mutual agreement & harmony. Please see earlier blogs for why we haven't gotten our Federal return yet. But that's not really the point of this-it was more thrown out in a c.y.a. style, because man do I hate being called a hypocrite. Fewer things make me more mad.

Back in late August or so, Jason's & my friend Molly came to me and asked us to do her a "huge favor". Okay, we thought, we can try. She explained that hers and her husband's cell phones were the pay-as-you-go type and they were ready to get rid of them and get newer ones so they'd have decent service and capabilities. Could we add them to our cell phone plan? Jason & I thought about it and told Molly that if we did it, they'd have to make sure they could pay their bills each and every month because we did not have the financial stability to cover for them. (up to that point Molly had demonstrated a loose grasp of financial management, to say the very least) Molly assured us it would be no problem, and one night we all met at the Verizon store downtown and added them to our plan.
The first month or two, everything was flawless. Then a little before we were all due to move down to Alabama, I got a bill from Verizon and it had jumped up another $200. I was in shock and read it over & over trying to figure it out. I noticed then that somebody had added a Mi-Fi device (personal Wi-Fi) and added it to the account. I thought it had been a mistake, so I called Molly to see what she knew about it if anything. She said that yes, Fred had done that the other day to make it easier on himself to have internet capabilities when he's out in the middle of nowhere working as a landscaper. (lets ignore the fundamental problems I have with that statement for now) The bigger problem is this, of course-Fred should  not have been able to add anything to the account unless he pretended to be Jason; or if he said that he was adding it to the account "owned by his friend", Verizon should have called Jason to verify this as an okay thing before going ahead and doing it. Neither happened. I informed Molly that it had made the bill jump up $200, so their monthly owed amount would be $350 for right now. She said that was fine.
Then it came to moving and they were pouring all the extra money they had into being able to move, just like we were. Well, we still had the Verizon bill to pay.
We all moved to Alabama, and Molly had a job, just like Jason. It only took me a couple weeks to be able to find a job as well, and we were communicating regularly about the owed money. I made a couple of off-color comments about it on my FaceBook which Molly took as majorly offensive and we didn't speak for a while. We smoothed things out, although they never have quite been the same. In December, Jason & I started asking her again about the money for the phone bill, because we have been, at this point, on a payment plan with Verizon to keep our phones from being shut off. Molly assures me that since her husband has been working and getting paid regularly, that they will be able to pay us, and gives me a payment date & amount. Day passes, no money. We again go through the same thing-this much money by this day. Day passes, no money. Excuses from her about not having any money to do anything, this-and-that happened.
Jason & I have tried to be sympathetic. Empathetic, even. About 2 weeks ago or so, Jason sent Molly a message effectively saying "enough is enough" and he would be giving them a couple more weeks and then sending a letter indicating his pursuance of the matter through Small Claims Court. She messaged him back saying that they didn't have anything, so it wouldn't do him any good. She did  say that when she returned from her work-travel to Memphis, she would send Jason hers and Fred's phones and the Mi-Fi thingy. We heard nothing further and have received no equipment.
A few days ago Jason sent her a certified letter explaining how much she owes, the bills demonstrating what she is responsible for and saying that she has two more weeks to show progress (make a payment, make a payment arrangement) or he would indeed file in Small Claims Court as he had mentioned. The card came back in the mail yesterday showing us that they had received the letter and information.
Molly, in her infinite maturity, defriended Jason, me and MIMI from FaceBook as well as off her son's FaceBook. Apparently since we are holding them to what they said they would do, we can no longer be friends. And not only can we no longer be friends, our children can no longer be friends. Very mature. Thanks. So now I get to explain to my child why she can't be friends with Molly and/or Greg anymore, much as I hope Molly will explain it to her child. I just hope she tells the truth.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Five Question Friday

1. Can you drive a stick shift?
Yes I can. Learned on an ex-boyfriend's Neon about a year after I got my license. Its been years since I've driven one, though, so I don't know how good I'd be at it anymore.

2.  What are two foods you just can't eat?
Liver and scrapple. Real scrapple, not the made-from-meat stuff you see showcased on "Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives". If it has meat in it, it isn't real scrapple.
And liver... its an organ... that processes stuff through your body. Um... I'll pass.

3. Do you buy Girl Scout cookies and what's your favorite kind?
Yes we do. My personal favorite are the Thin Mints. I've been known to eat an entire sleeve at once, not that I should.

4. How do you pamper yourself?
Pamper myself? Surely you jest. I consider that I'm "pampering myself" if I get a chance to shower alone for longer than three minutes and/or if I get time to read my book at night. That's pampering.

5. What is your nickname and how did you get it?
I have a couple nicknames. Most commonly "Mama". That was from my niece Anna when she was just 6 1/2. She called me Mimi & Lizzie's Mama, and that's then what they started calling me, and that was 8 years ago! Now Anna & Maddie call me "Aunt Babe". Long story there.
I'm Mommy, of course, to my babies-all of them, here recently.
My friend Jay calls me Lissa (and is the only one to get away with it).
And last we have the ever-present Mel. My sis-in-law started calling me that when we met, she's Filipina and didn't speak English well at that time, so I doubt she could say "Melissa". It stuck, and here I am. My boss calls me Melly-Mel, and my Mel Prime and my Nora call me Mel Squared. Even Mimi occasionally calls me Mel Squared because she gets a raging kick out of the fact that she is Mel Cubed.

Hypocrisy, Southern differences & the Apple Bottom Jeans song

First-first... my big girl is going to spend the night with her Nonie tonight. For the first time away from Mommy & Daddy since she was too little to remember. We left her with my folks for the weekend when we went to Eastern State in 2008, but she was barely 2 then. She doesn't remember. Tonight she is going to spend the night with Nonie, just her... Bubs is staying home with us. Big girl. Hopefully this won't kill me the way leaving Bubs for one night did over the summer when we took the girls to Huntsville.

Next... hypocrisy. Really?!? Really?!? Somebody I know said, "do this particular thing this particular way because doing it any other way we are lacking in communication." So today, I did the thing in question the way I was previously instructed. I got a call shortly thereafter saying that I didn't need to do it that way because it "wastes paper". Wait... what? You just got through telling me to do it that way, so I do what you told me and now I'm wasting paper. Oh-kay...

Southern differences. Which ones now? So glad you asked.
We got a refund check in the mail today from the kids' pediatrician's office because our well-child visits don't require a copay, and we had paid one when the kids had their physicals in December. That was nice. The problem-it came addressed/made out to Jason. Just Jason. I was the one that took the kids in, and here's the kicker... the insurance is in MY NAME. I called them and asked why and they said that he was the "responsible party". I asked how that could be, given that I'd brought the kids in and the insurance was in my name. "Did he do the paperwork?" she asked. I again said no, he hasn't done the paperwork, I'm the one that brought the kids/brings the kids and its MY insurance, so I want it changed in their records. She said that "when they have a married couple, they just list the father first." I said that was nice, but I wanted it changed to reflect the way it really is. She sounded almost offended that I insisted on it, said they'd take care of it, and hung up on me! How polite! FFS, its not like I was asking her to pay for everything or something-just fix the account to the way it should have been to begin with.

Last, and I really have a rant that goes with this, but unfortunately there are too many people who could read it and get pissy so I'll refrain for now and just ask...
What does the "Apple Bottom jeans" song have to do with a professional working environment?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Pisses off!

I had some cuddly-lap time with Bub earlier and that helped quite a bit. When I was first going to write this, I didn't think there were enough expletives for me to delete. These will be in no particluar order, but I will save my rant about TC for last.

First on my list today is people who talk to just hear themselves talk. These people that just randomly burst out in nonsense, making noise to make noise. Yelling, trying to entice other people into conversation with them for no particular reason other that its quite possible they will die if they're not talking. And then, when someone dares tell them to hush up, they start in about how much louder than that person the hush-er is and how that person should just hush themselves. Wait... what? That person wouldn't be tellng you to hush if you weren't sitting there mindlessly yapping about  nothing to begin with.

Because I'm eating while typing this, I really hate getting stuff stuck in my teeth.
I also hate that my son is almost 2 and doesn't talk.

I'm getting really frustrated with the repeated coming-home-to-a-messy-house. It just never stops. We can leave the house picked up in the morning when we go to work and by the time we come home, the damn cats have gotten into this, that & the other and made a mess. Not to mention one of our cats thinking she's Beckham and she bends the kitty litter five feet out of the box. So every day, the first thing I do is sweep the floor, and then when I come home from work every day, the first thing I do is sweep the floor. I also hate finding kitty litter all over my desk because the cats jump out of the boxes, trot across the floor and immediately jump on my desk. So every day, I wipe my desk.

Never time to do it right, always time to do it over. People who don't know how to do their jobs make mine harder.

Am I up to the TC rant? Think I might be. Interestingly, back when she & I were still friended on FaceBook, I referred to her as TC and she thought it meant "the c*nt". No, it actually means "thunder c*nt", which is stolen from the 3rd Blade movie.
"Stop telling lies about me and I'll stop telling the truth about you." That just fits her so well. Perfectly well, as a matter of fact. Because anytime the truth about her comes out, she lies to cover it up and to be able to blame it on someone else. That's part of the reason she was weasel-ish and tried to change the email account associated with and Mimi's FaceBook password. What she neglected to realize was that FaceBook will automatically send an email to the original email account asking if you authorized these changes. Well... since Jason created Mimi's FaceBook for her back before Mimi could, all those emails go to his email account. How about that! So we went back in, adjusted everything and locked it up. TC was seen to have posted on FaceBook the next day something about "changing your passwords and letting someone hang themselves with information they got illegally"... well, not so much, but it sounds good when she is trying to play the victim and make everybody think everything is anybody else's  fault but hers.
The last bit for today is the most recent stuff crawling my ass. TC filed her taxes before Jason & I could and she claimed Elizabeth on her taxes. Or so we presume. I really should be fair and say we don't know for sure, because we haven't gotten a look at her tax return. However, when we filed our taxes and the IRS told us that someone else had claimed our child (and it was verified by social security number), we put 2 and 2 together. Uh... 5?
Anyway, I heard back from the girls' school principal today who confirmed that they are going to have a vacation week in April. We weren't sure, because there was talk at the beginning of the year about their vacation week getting nixed if they have enough snow days. They had six, so we thought for sure their vacation was toast. But in fine Putnam fashion, they instead tacked the days on at the end of the school year making Mimi's "promotion ceremony" on June 20th. WTF? Kids go to school almost until July and then are back in at the end of August. Doesn't quite seem fair. Didn't when I was a kid, doesn't now that its being done to my kids.
The upshot is that now that I know they are going to have a break, I started lurking around the web for airfare. It is outrageous! Tickets are $300 one-way per kid. That's $1200 for two round-trip tickets. Their vacation week is April 18-22. Is there something going on that week that I need to know about? What is making those tickets so dadgum expensive? I hate to say we won't be able to afford their tickets, but I think that might be the case. I don't know what crack of my ass I am going to pull $1200 out of, and we know TC sure isn't going to volunteer to help at all. And methinks especially not around that time of year-about then the old IRS should be processing our return and investigating why we claimed a child that was already processed. Hmm... she is going to be pissed at Jason & me, and somehow try to twist it around to make it our fault. Well no, not this time. We have the documentation from the court that says she did a bad thing. It warms the cockles of my heart to think of her not only having to pay back whatever money she gets from the IRS but also a penalty fee. What would tickle me even more is if our return started getting done before hers was all the way processed so hers got stopped. I seriously doubt I'm that lucky-I think she filed way ahead of time. Damn-if I'd filed a little quicker after learning that we'd had to... oh well... she'll have to pay it back and that will warm my heart too.
It absolutely pisses me off that we probably won't see the girls until June now. But I want them to ask me why we don't have the money. I will tell them the truth, and I can back it up with documentation. TC can try to lie... but it won't work this time.
And all we have to do is keep proving her lies are just those and the girls will see her for who she is. They do already, but I think the more chances Jason & I get to prove we've been telling the truth all along, the better.

100 book challenge~

My friend Nora introduced me to a book challenge for this year-and it is to read 100 books within the confines of the calendar year. I figure that here is a great place for me to constantly record my progress.

1. Big Bad Wolf-James Patterson
2. London Bridges-James Patterson
3. Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Ugly Truth-Jeff Kinney
4. 9 Dragons-Michael Connelly
5. The Woman Next Door-Barbara Delinsky
6. The Devil's Punchbowl-Greg Iles
7. The Quiet Game-Greg Iles
8. Turning Angel-Greg Iles
(I reskimmed The Devil's Punchbowl, because it is 3rd in the Penn Cage series, and I'd read it first)
9. Blood Memory-Greg Iles

So apparently I can't blog from work...

Are you kidding me? This thing ate my post. Okay... so I guess we go back to old style, typing posts in Word and then copying them into here.

I had said that I wanted to talk some about the kids and other aspects of life...

Mimi is 13, finishing up 8th grade this year, which means she will be in high school  next year! Gak! When did that happen?!? She got accepted into Ellis Tech and Killingly Vo-Ag for high school next year, up there in the land of too f*cking cold. It upsets me that she is somehow thinking she won't be living with us so that she will have to go to high school up there. I'm hoping to change that perception. Unless of course, she WANTS to stay up there with her pathetic excuse for a mother... in which case that decision is hers and we will respect it. Howver, that does mean that Jason & I have four years before we have to pay for her to go to college. College?!? Seriously?!? We all know that if she wants to go to more than a junior college/community college and she is not living with us, who is going to have to pay for it anyhow.
Mimi was recently diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes! Scary! She has lost weight and her vision is better, which if there has to be a positive to it, I guess that would be it.

Lizzie is 10, finishing up 5th grade and about to jump to Middle School! Big girl! She is becoming more of her own person as she gets older and is definitely getting wise(r) about things she was too naive to recognize when she was younger. She is very vocal about wanting to live with Jason & me. I hope that we can make that happen for her. Lizzie getting big trips me out more than Mimi, I think, because when Jason & I got together Lizzie was still a baby, so I've watched her grow all these years.

Alex is almost 5 and going to "school". She will start Kindergarten "big girl school" in the Fall, but for now she is content to be going to "school" with Sebastian. They go to a wonderful daycare/preschool called Kids' Club and she seems to enjoy it very much. They work on letters and numbers in her classroom and color and play games.

Bubs (Sebastian) will be 2 in March, just a few days after Alex turns 5. He is going to the afore-mentioned Kids' Club with Alex and seems to enjoy it. There is a painting on the wall above his classroom that I just love-it says "for one so small you seem so strong". I had/have such mixed feelings about him going to daycare-he was home with Mommy for the first year-and-a-half of his life. I got all the milestones, at least. It is important for him to be there with other kids, socializing, and it is important for him to learn that there are other adults that will take care of him that he can trust. Those are good. I DON'T like that he has been sick pretty much the whole time he's been going there. I know its good for his immune system and blah-blah-blah, but I hate my baby boy having a fever and coughing and sneezing and just flopping over because it is obvious he doesn't feel good.

So what else?
We currently live in the great state of Alabama. We moved back here because we wanted to and had been missing it for quite some time. It was also the last bit of closure we needed from our earlier situation, which helped both of us (though more me, I suspect).
We are entertaining the idea that part of Sebastian's problem is allergies, not being sick-sick, so Jason brought up having him allergy-tested and then moving somewhere allergens are less of a problem for him.
We are also struggling financially, despite what some people would like to make others believe. Jason's hope & dream is to get a job using his degree in Business Adminstration. I'd like to get a Masters' degree or a J.D.; whichever one I get will be determined by where we live and what schools are close. I know what my options are here and I know what they are elsewhere, so we'll just have to see. I have also been accepted to the Boston University online program-but seeing the issues Jason is having with getting a job having a degree from an online university, I might just do brick-and-mortar instead.

I guess that is all for now... I am hoping that this will serve to be cathartic for me. I have been wishing for a while that FaceBook had a blog feature like MySpace-with doing my blogs this way and linking to FaceBook, it should be just as good.
Finally a quote that I saw on the Rescue Ink site-"stop telling lies about me and I'll stop telling the truth about you". That applies so well to people in my life. What about you?

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

First one!

First blog since I had my old MySpace page... I think the title sums it up. This is where you will find the ramblings of my (more-than-occasionally) cluttered mind.
More coming soon.