Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Narcissism & Sociopathy

Okay, so this is going to start with my copying and pasting the link I found from the "Profile of the Sociopath". It just seems so suited to... someone...
Particularly; "They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely and instrument to be used. They dominate and humiliate their victims. Instead of friends they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way."

Earlier, a few of you were following along my loose rants about Madame Moo Cow and buying Lizzie's plane tickets to come down to Alabama. I have copied the emails here so you have the full story. The more reasonable I am, and the more I rationalize things for/with her, the less she talks and the ruder she gets. I know she's mad and going to be a royal bitch to everybody that crosses her path for the rest of the day and has likely already blown me out to her boyfriend and her mother. She won't tell them the conversation, just that I was being "an unreasonable bitch" and I'm "trying to make everything SO hard on her." Haha, she just doesn't get up my nose the way I get up hers, and is it wrong of me that I sorta do it on purpose... ?

Per Jason's request and recommendation I am writing you this morning to "discuss" Lizzie's tickets with you. It was entirely too much to text.
I have found tickets for her, which I am going to buy this Friday. I know we had previously discussed a few things when it comes to buying tickets for her; that you would prefer me to buy them round trip all at once, rather than one way at a time and also that you would prefer her to be on non-stop flights or flights where it stops, but she doesn't need to change planes. 
At this time, those two things are in direct contradiction to something you & Jason had previously discussed; that the girls had to fly out of either Hartford or Providence. 
I can get Lizzie on a round trip flight, from Manchester, NH to Nashville, TN from the start of July to the start of August. There is a plane change going back, but coming down to Alabama its just a stop. I did some research on the Manchester airport, and from what I understand, it is only 20 minutes further away than driving to Hartford/Windsor Locks. It is also easy to get to from the road and the check-in/boarding process is easy as well.
Let me know what you want me to do; I know you prefer her to be on a non-stop and to have the round trip purchased all at once but without flying her out of Manchester, that's not going to be feasible.

1st I guess for this ONE TIME ONLY I’ll concede to the Manchester NH airport. In the future, this will not be acceptable.
2nd Elizabeth CANNOT under any circumstances change planes without assistance. This is non-negotiable. She is scared enough of having to fly alone for the first time, let’s not toss a plane change  in there too.
3rd I want actual dates, There were dates that we had agreed on. I want to know those dates that you are planning  on ( I know I offered a bit of flexibility on the return date, but it HAS to fall on a weekend) and no, that does not mean you can keep her an extra week, just to suit your wallet

I can see not doing the Manchester airport again in the future if it is a clusterf*ck and hard to get to; but if it is actually easier than Hartford or Providence, I don't see why you wouldn't want to keep doing it. We don't enjoy driving to Nashville, necessarily, but it is easier than Birmingham to get in and out of and easier to navigate in general.
If she flies Southwest, which is what I am looking at, she will have all the assistance she needs. All she will have to do is ask for it. I have already discussed this with her. Contradictory to what you say, it IS and shall remain negotiable. You & Jason never made any stipulations otherwise that she couldn't/wouldn't be changing planes.
By the way, she didn't seem that scared when she and I discussed it. Perhaps if it was discussed on that end from a calm, reasonable and "see how easy this is" point of view, it would assuage her anxiety. When the tickets are purchased, you can look at the airport maps/terminals and explain to her about what to do if/when she changes planes; how find the monitors that show her next flight, that sort of thing. Explain to her how to go up to the ticket counter, talk about how she is flying alone and ask someone to help her. Southwest agents are EXTREMELY accommodating.
I was looking at July 01 to August 06, which are the dates we had previously agreed on.

We initially agreed on her flying out the SAME DAY that Mellissa would have been returning. Which is the 29th, NOT the 1st.  I cannot get her to the airport on the 1st. perhaps you should have looked that up. We agreed on her flying out the SAME DAY Mimi would have flown back, not the first.  Do I need to repeat it again?

Well now that Mimi isn't flying, its rather a moot point, isn't it?
Your only stipulation to Jason was that if Lizzie was to be flying during the week you needed two weeks notice to accommodate that scheduling. Your words. 
Would you like me to reforward you the email back?

Whatever, Do what you’re going to do. It’s not like anything I say will make a difference anyway.  FYI, the reason that Manchester is not an option going forward, is that it’s an additional 40 miles away

What you say would make a difference if you were actually being reasonable and caring about anybody but yourself. However, your narcissism prevents that from being the case.
And Manchester, while further away in miles, it only takes an extra 15-20 minutes to get there. Again, if it is easier, why not spend the extra time in the car for an easier, better experience?
You were the one that had to put the stipulation in about flying in and out of only Hartford/Providence. Jason could've done the same and said that the girls could only fly in and out of Huntsville, to make it equidistant for us in drive and time. But he is not unreasonable and didn't see the need to do that. We understand that their flying in and out of Nashville might be cheaper and since we knew a time would come when you (or your parents, more so) would be buying tickets for their flights, he didn't put that in. I don't understand why you wouldn't continue to "concede" to something that makes it easier on us, thereby saving us money and making a better time for Lizzie while she's here. You can't profess to want the best for Lizzie and then make things harder on Jason which will trickle down to make things harder on her.
I really hope that in the future you become less selfish and start to care about how your actions and manipulations impact others. Otherwise you will continue to have a very shallow, lonely life, for the rest of your life.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my, my, my... so sorry you have to deal with this! Stay strong and sane, sweets. xoxo